And another new development

 

Cold and rainy today, single crows are flying back and forth overhead. Not sure if they're trying to get a nest prepped or what. It's a light but steady rain and is supposed to continue overnight. I hope it is enough of a deterrent for idiots shooting off things tonight.

As for the new development it's more like a revelation. I have asthma right now. I don't think I've noticed until I couldn't take my usual NSAID for my arthritis. Since I had the allergy attack in the spring and then the cold weather came on and then my lower GI issues and all that, I haven't been taking it and my vitamins as often. Asthma, especially the spasm type is what I've discovered I wake up with every morning. I can feel some inflammation in the lower bronchial area and it changes sides randomly. It was on the left yesterday and it's on the right today so it may be a small knot of phlegm bouncing around. 

But yeah. Wonderful. Jon's been gently asking me to talk to the doctor about it so I can get on an inhaler but now with everything else, it's one more thing on my plate I have to put off until next month after the procedure. I was told I can take tylenol for pain but that is not nearly as helpful as the other naproxen or ibuprofen I take. 

Oh, got the blood test results back rather quick. As expected my lymphocytes and leukocytes (white blood cell counts) are extremely low, glucose was really high but then I had a banana for breakfast that morning and it was a non-fasting so doctor (primary) didn't say anything about it. She did say that my lipid panel for cholesterol is in the normal range so yay meds are working for that.  I think that was all she was looking for really. I don't have an appointment with her scheduled so will come back to that after next week.

The way this revelation came about is I occasionally catch a video from an ER doctor named 'Dr. BeachGem'. She' got kids of her own, she's extremely knowledgeable and also has a cat with asthma. She was showing how she gave her cat her asthma treatment and also explained the two different types of asthma. It suddenly occurred to me that I am having spastic bronchial asthma when I wake up in the morning. It's like a sudden cough but when I thought about it, it was exactly that. My bronchial tube was spasming causing me to cough. The rest of the time it's just trying to clear my throat but can feel that congestion as well. It is exhausting coughing so much for sure so if I can get a doctor to take a look at it and verify my initial suspicion I'll feel better mentally. The idea of using an inhaler is daunting as I have no coordination whatsoever. 

Oh yeah and the bm sessions are now not so bad but still frequent. Of course. 'are you constipated' nooo just the opposite... and my body said, 'Not any more!'. 

I'm just watching the rain drizzle down outside, neighborhood is mostly quiet since the kids are being kept inside. This is a good thing. Very cold outside, barely have the window cracked open and the breeze coming through is nippy.

Yippeee yahooo... wake me when it's over.
 

Still a bit draggy and axious

 Caution: long anxiety ramble riddled with what actually happened and whining about how much has to change.

Let's just say I haven't been 100% in months but being 85-90% is a good day. Had a lot of driving to do today to go get my ecg and blood draws done then pick up my prep kit. This darn cough I bet will have to be looked at as well after all this is done.  

Called this morning and if not for a cancellation I wouldn't have to worry about this until March or April. As it is, colonoscopy is scheduled for 3:40 on January 7. That's a tight schedule as I start limiting food day after tomorrow, New Years Eve. From then on it's liquid diet, limited solids and a list of things not to eat. I don't have to worry about the prep until the day before thankfully.  I told the nurse that was drawing my blood about it and she said she has IBS so sympathized and has been putting off getting a colonoscopy herself. I told her yeah, it won't be anything different for me for the past few months. I had the pharmacist do a consult just so I got the instructions in my head despite them being on a paper. She pointed to one thing, 'any constipation?' I said no, just the opposite which is why I'm getting this done.

Picture is actually of the sun behind some of the clouds with blue on either side. The weather cleared after the storm for a day or two and now it's 'scuffy' high clouds and windy but it's a warm wind. That's a small Santa Ana wind and then rain for New Years Eve and Day. What a way to bring in the new year right? Not looking forward to the noise and if Rocky had 'connective memory' (that's my term for remembering long term things and am sure it's the wrong term) he would not be as chill as he is now. 

Good  news is, we get money on Wednesday (hopefully) and Friday for food money. We'll have just enough days to lay in supplies for the next week or so. I'm not eating as much so a lot of the bread on top of the fridge is.... getting questionable. Jon's eating most of the See's candy, since a good portion of it has nuts and the other half is good but I think candy/chocolates are on the no list. Even if they aren't I am not comfortable eating them right now. Same with having a soda, had one yesterday in the afternoon and it took forever for me to get to sleep. So that's off my list. During 'prep week' I can have 'clear sodas' but with my system carbonation is not good neither is caffeine.

So there you have it. Bland, soft and easily digested foods for the next week and a half at least. Not necessarily bland but what else would you call rice, noodles, flour torillas and white bread? I did buy some chicken stock and we had some chicken breast sandwiches today. I had one, Jon had one but likely piled the chicken on because I made 7 pieces. I had two pieces on mine and there's one piece left. so he must have had four on his. Not complaining, glad he's getting food more than I am.

I'm just tired right now. I was coughing most of the day which is exhausting and embarrassing when going to a medical facility. It's like, honest I'm not contagious, I have a weather allergy. I hope.

That's basically it for today. Prep and associated pills are on the counter in the kitchen waiting for next week. Big ass container but at least they gave me a lemon lime flavor packet to mix in and told me to keep it in the fridge because 'cold masks the flavor a bit'. Using a straw helps too. Anyway, I'm just tired and anxious and all that. I have 'test anxiety' because too many times I mess up the simplest instructions on a test or a form. 

Okay enough of that. I hope everyone has a safe and moderately quiet New Years if that is what you are looking for. All you other party animals, go have fun
 

Almost 100% better

 I don't know what hit me yesterday but so help me if it was the cheese, crackers and chocolates I had I will be very very put out for the remainder of my days.

As I said, not 100% better but close. Was able to fix the last two eggs scrambled then got a shower and we made it out to the pharmacy and then grabbed a Jersey Mike's sandwich (I only had a quarter of it) and now am guzzling water. Really want a soda but trying to be mindful about my coming procedure and ongoing issues. 

I am hopeful/praying there is a medicine that will bring me back to something of normal diet without issues. I really did jinx myself or maybe it was a window to the future for me with having to eat smaller meals and lay off the sodas and spicy Mexican food. That would make me a very cranky old lady for sure. Or I just say screw that and keep living my life the way I want. Not good in the long run though and ultimately not very smart. That's the selfish addiction mentality that alcoholics and smokers use.

Meanwhile, the weather is picture perfect for winter here. It was partly cloudy but cold yesterday, kitchen thermometer hasn't gotten above 60 inside which means it got maybe to mid 60's outside and dropped down to 40 overnight.  Brrr. I was cold most of the day yesterday until after dark, go figure. 

I related the 'spoons analogy' to Jon about energy in a day is measured by spoons for chronically ill people. He hadn't heard of it before (thought I had told him before but he may have forgotten). Yesterday was zero spoons and today was maybe 9 out of 10. 

I really want a soda. Jon is snoring in the front room so he's getting in his habitual mid-afternoon nap. He took two or three yesterday but mostly because I was laid out and not active either.  

I don't know if anyone else has this ability but I can sit and think about what my body is doing and do a sort of 'check engine diagnostic' to see how much energy I have to do something or whether it can handle eating something or whatever. It's more like, 'okay last time I ate this two days later I regretted it'.  Is that going to happen this time? Or knowing how much energy it takes to go down to the garden, do I have that much now or am running low (feeling lazy)? I managed to get Rocky out for his 'grass time' when we finished lunch so he's snoozing under the bed covers. I am using very little energy to sit slouched in my desk chair and type so maybe will go down to the garden later. Which will probably be too late considering it's 2:00 now and it starts getting dark around 5 and Jon usually takes an hour nap. It's not critical to get down there, I ducked over there while Rocky was eating grass and got some pictures and checked on things.

Wind blew the crate over again but the only sign of intrusion was one of the tomatillo plants was eaten. Very small seedling so not a problem. Yes those are lemons on the bush there, I've picked a few of them over the summer. Cilantro going crazy in the far back right, green onions up front on the left, and can barely see the plants in the raised bed at the back but more onions, three cauliflower, a potato and the rogue tomato I transplanted from the opposite wall. 

So. Feeling much better today and will likely sleep better tonight too. Got some great sleep last night, woke up every two hours but didn't have to use the bathroom until morning. That was a great night because I was exhausted.

Can't say have a great New Year but will see what happens. 
 

 

Good feeling gone, low spoons today

 Writing this down for my own reference later, no need for comments. Haven't been on the computer at all today due to really feeling like crap. Chemo pills may be finally kicking in.

Let's just call it a 5 spoons day. 

My usual sleeping situation is waking every two hours to pee, lately it's done that but then around 4 am i have a semi painful urgency for a bm. The kind where it's lower intestinal gurgle and pain. Not too bad at that hour but notable. slightly irritated in back of my throat as well. Slightly nauseous with some cold sweats while on the toilet.

This morning I woke up with the same pain but in a sense, worse. What I call 'spasm coughing' and with some upper chest congestion recently. It is mostly on the left side so I am thinking it's connected to the chemo treatment pills.  Had to look up the side effects and I'm due for an ECG on Monday before I talk to the oncologist on Wednesday. 

I took my morning pills with a banana then went right back to bed. I felt like crap. Tried to rest and nap for about 2 hours but poor Rocky didn't understand what was going on. He would try and climb on my chest and then go paw at the door so it was fitful rest for sure.  Just fatigued and can't describe the general feeling other than over all crappy. I haven't taken any of my supplements or ibuprofen because of how i feel. 

Only time I got out of bed longer than to go to the bathroom was so I could clean out Rocky's box. Had Jon take it outside I put on sweatpants and my slip on shoes, did the cleaning then had him bring it back in and I went back to bed. 

Around 3:00 managed a half bowl of chicken flavor top ramen (asked Jon to fix it for me) and a few Ritz crackers then thankfully I was able to hunker down and get a good deep 2 hour nap. That felt great because usually it's just a light sleep or 'dozing'. Not 100% but much better than I had in the morning. Rocky even slept at the foot of the bed and left me alone. I woke up a bit and rolled onto my back, I felt him walk over and he laid down between my arm and my hip. That was a nice feeling to have him there instead of on my chest. moving around.  But I was awake and then had to go to the bathroom.

Finally around 8:30 I was actually feeling a bit hungry. Yesterday I had told Jon I wanted to get sandwiches today. Well that plan went out the window this morning So the best I could manage was a single slice of ham on rye bread for 'dinner'.  

So yeah. I remember feeling REALLY crappy when I was getting chemo treatments before. This isn't nearly as bad but has some of the same feel. I hope I feel better tomorrow, we need some groceries and Jon has a prescription to pick up. 

You know that feeling where it's not like you're in pain or tired just bleh. The idea of standing long enough and moving 'vigorously' in a shower was more than I could handle today. I didn't even do any knitting and it's all sitting right within reach. I didn't feel like I had enough energy to even write this down until about 9:30. It's almost 10 now. Despite sitting around all day and getting a few naps I have full confidence in being able to sleep tonight. 

It's exhausting being sick like this. And on top of all this I have to do some pre-colonoscopy prep prep. They sent me a message on the app and gave me two phone number to call on Friday. I didn't see them until it was after 4:30. No one is in the office on the weekend so everything has to happen on Monday. 

Since I'm doing this on the laptop I don't have access to my usual jpg images like the sick phone... but yeah. 

And a good Christmas to one and all

I must say this was one of the best Christmas' we've had in a few years. Seriously. First, I am so proud and thankful that my kids are not struggling financially as bad as when we were homeless and later (or I am now). Not just because they can give great gifts but because they can do it. So the best gift is knowing I don't have to worry about my kids as much.

It was cloudy and rainy and very blustery two days before Christmas and everyone was saying it would likely rain. Nope, it cleared off like a miracle day it is and was gorgeous. White and grey puffy clouds against brilliant blue skies. 

Sunset Christmas Eve was gorgeous orange and flame colored clouds. I had to adjust the colors in my phone because it turned out too pink. This is real close to what it was.

I don't have pictures of our gifts but of the things that we got all of them were what we asked for and then some. Jon wanted a dvd set of Elvis movies with special cards in them, I wanted a potato ricer and a sweater knitting book I have missed since it's in storage. Amber also remembered my See's candy favorite nuts and chews and got me a huge box of them. Wellman pulled through with the videos and the potato ricer (no more using the old electric mixer for mashing potatoes!). Joint gift was a Jack and Sally Funko Pop dolls from Logan and I think the chocolates were also. 

It was wonderful really. I bought a small wheel of brie cheese for Amber because I remembered she liked it and they had crackers already to go with the Alouette cheese I had also requested when Amber asked what to do for food. Just told her cheese and crackers and there she got it. 

Feeling satisfied and happy this Christmas. Even my system is doing a bit better and not sure what to chalk it up to. Need to figure out what department I'm supposed to call to set up the colonoscopy because I don't remember what the doctor said if I don't get a call. Honestly was not expecting any calls with back to back holidays right now. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Eve dinner was the pork roast cooked to perfection. Seriously knocked it out of the park other than the gravy. Just used a combination of herbs with salt, pepper and garlic slices, cooked it according to directions I found online. That was only about 5 lbs and we only ate half of it. I had a slice last night for my 'pill snack' and it was still juicy and delicious warmed in the microwave. I cut the meat off the bones today and chopped it up and cooked it with diced potatoes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I remember mom and dad using leftover beef roast like this and it turned out just fine using the pork. A bit on the dry side but still tasty. Green peppers, onion, and left over red peppers for veggies and just a little extra salt and pepper. All the seasoning was on the meat still and there's still one more slice of meat left with the bones in the fridge!

That is how you make a single purchase last for days. Leftovers of leftovers is the way to make your grocery dollars stretch. Speaking of that, we were once again approved for CalFresh BUT they took into account the COLA for social security and dropped our food money from 345 to 315. Right. At least we still have that to live on. I am forever thankful we at least have something.

This is the sweater book I got and am shopping for yarn now. I found a source for my favorite medium weight yarn that I made sweaters for Ava (now Logan) when they were little. It's on sale right now until the end of the year and of course I don't have enough money to get all the yarn I need. It will happen when it happens and not like I don't have other projects to work on.

I hope the coming year is gentle and free of any serious problems for everyone. May miracles happen to the joy of one and all.
 

 

 

 

No call yet and good news, bad news

 Warning, some TMI and graphic descriptions for my personal records toward the bottom. I am really kind of anxious about all this and need to write it out.

So got results from the other samples and good news is it's not salmonella, shigella, e. coli or campylobacter (you'd get it from drinking unprocessed milk and eating questionable meats and other dairy). Bad news is, that only leaves the obvious which is IBD/Crohn's Disease. Which still requires the colonoscopy for definite diagnosis. Still waiting for the call from that department. If I remember correctly it's a 10 day prep so if they don't put a rush on it before New Year's it'll start the new year with that. 

Wonderful. Worst case, they have me get the prep kit asap and schedule for next week sometime. 

I didn't sleep very well last night and am hoping that after all this is done, surgery and everything next year I can relax a little. Maybe ask the doctor about something to help if it's still a problem. When I say I didn't sleep well I mean, finally turned the light off at midnight, woke up around 2:30 to pee then half dozed for another two hours and got up to pee again. Half dozed for another hour or two and that means rolling over, having fitful dreams, opening my eyes and it's only been an hour. I got up around 630 to pee, fed Rocky then went back to bed and hoped for another two hours of sleep. Jon got up around 7 so I think I finally passed out for an hour when my alarm went off at 8:30 to take my pills. I really needed another two hours but decided to get up. 

Warning tmi due to Graphic description

 

Energy is low today due to having a lot of blood in my last two toilet sessions. That has me worried more for loss of blood than anything else. Since it's bright red it's likely from lower GI irritation and possibly internal hemorrhoids. Still not good. I don't have anything in the kitchen that's good for high iron and building blood. Which, according to the lists are all the things that I'm not supposed to have with this condition. Leafy greens, nuts and seeds, high protein grains.  Right.

I'm trying to keep a log of what I eat and when, what the output is and all that to give to the gastroenterologist when I see them. Because with the colonoscopy likely being done by that kind of doctor will see who I end up with.

Here's a rough list of foods I'm not supposed to eat 

Foods to Avoid (Especially During Flares)

 

 High-Fiber Foods: Whole grains, bran, popcorn, nuts, seeds, beans, lentils, and raw vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, leafy greens

Fatty & Fried Foods: Fatty meats, fried foods, butter, cream, mayonnaise, and greasy fast food.

Spicy Foods: Chili peppers, spicy curries, salsa, and cayenne. 

Dairy Products: Milk, cheese, and ice cream, especially if you're lactose intolerant. 

Sugary Items: Pastries, candies, sodas, and sugary juices. 

Caffeine & Alcohol: Coffee, tea, chocolate, energy drinks, and alcoholic beverages. 

Gas-Producing Foods: Beans, lentils, cabbage, onions, and carbonated drinks. 

Processed Foods: Deli meats, sausages, processed snacks, and foods with artificial sweeteners or emulsifiers. 

Certain Fruits/Veggies: Raw fruits with skin or seeds (berries, apples) and mushrooms. 

 

Do you see that list? That is all the gastronomic joy in life just tossed out the window due to my body deciding it's going to rebel against itself. Mushrooms! Mushrooms???? I don't eat raw mushrooms anyway so that's not a big deal but... no sodas, chocolate, salsa, carbonated drinks, dairy ::knock on wood:: only if you're lactose intolerant. I don't eat a lot of raw veggies other than an occasional salad, we've been eating whole wheat bread, sourdough and rye bread lately. Sandwich meats! 

Now, this is when having a flare up. I can understand the salsa and spicy foods, I noticed several months ago that salsa was giving me a bit of acid feeling in my throat and though, 'well here we go, being an old person not tolerating spicy stuff'. 

Absolute worst case scenario is they discover polyps in the colonoscopy. Best case scenario the bleeding is from an irritated rectum and diarrhea is the cause. 

Update when I get a call.

Ho, ho, ho.... merry christmas...... 

 

Not much more news

Had the video visit with my primary and she agreed that a colonoscopy was really a must with the results just from that one sample. So she put in the order for it and hoping to get a call next week from a Sharp pharmacy or the outpatient center to schedule the procedure. As I said, compared to my current situation the prep is likely just going to be slightly worse than what I've got now. Doctor said usually with a colonoscopy they are rather 'lazy' about scheduling it a few months in advance but in my case they want to get it done ASAP due to my condition. IBD is not something to let go as it can only get worse. There are medications to take that can soothe the internal working but need to watch what I eat to help that along. So yeah.

Had a rough day yesterday as far as internal system goes. Started out semi-ok but went downhill from there. Not horrid just draining. Today is a bit better, trying to keep track of what I eat and the results in 24 hours. I had a coke for the first time in a week today and so far, nothing unusual. Trying different things as much as I can, we got a couple of avocados which is on the approved list of foods, boiled two eggs, was going to make egg salad then just ate one of them. Sourdough bread is approved luckily and we had garlic shrimp on egg noodles today with garlic bread. That turned out really good by the way, slightly different than previous iterations but another do again. Need to find some other recipes for shrimp. Jon's not a fan of shrimp cocktail but I am, and that's not really a meal. I originally was going to make the shrimp and bacon chowder but bacon is so expensive I postponed it. That's on the list for next month hopefully.

 

I've discovered a guy who is just a dad with three kids and a wife that does the most fun cooking videos. the only name is Ithinkicancook. That cutting board is his small one he usually uses a huge checkerboard cutting block that is double that size. He says he's not a professional chef but he's got the equipment, the techniques and tools that say otherwise. He uses one of his daughters pink swim goggles when he cuts onions and runs a short clip of Pink Power Ranger transforming. 

When the food is ready, he gets his kids to come in one at a time to taste test. All of them have to climb up on a step ladder to get above the counter. It is an absolute joy to watch his interaction with them and how much love is in that family. He works, his wife works but different schedules so sometimes he'll make a dinner to set aside for her, kids get their own bowls or plates, then he usually gets a paper plate but his wife gets a nice dish or bowl and he plates it professionally. I've copied a few of his recipes onto notepad already and plan on trying to make them next month.  

Getting back into the swing of cooking again but that comes and goes. Like any chronic disease there are only so many 'spoons' to use in a day. I did some gardening today, had to water and then transplanted a freaking tomato seedling that came up along the garden wall! I didn't even have tomatoes over there this year! I suspect it might be either from compost or an enterprising rodent that ate a tomato. Who knows but winter tomato anyone?

I was going to spray that area with vinegar to kill the weeds and glad I didn't. I transplanted that to the raised bed and watered it well, it had a single root so hope it survives. 

So that's what's been going on with me the last day or two. Like I said, when it isn't catastrophic, it's boring. Got kind of tired today and as those who have a chronic disease, there are only so many spoons to use in the day. Sometimes you start with a mostly empty drawer and other days you get a handful. 

The older you get, the fewer spoons you end up with sometimes.