Samples will be taken

 NP Paula listened to my woeful tale of lower intestinal issues, asked a few expected questions like when did it start and how often do I go. I told her at least two months and at least three or four times a day, she grimaced at that and said she would order a sample kit in the lab for me to take home and after that start taking Metamucil once a day to help bulk up my system. 

Right. I have never had to take that before, imodium was torture but that was early in my problems onset. I know it comes in orange flavor thankfully so a minor blessing there. I've been up since 6 am, kind of fatigued because as soon as I got home, had to use the toilet and wouldn't you know, left the collection kit on the bed. Oh well, there will be other opportunities. 

It's a bit complicated because it's two different sets of sample containers that have to be kept separate and when I do the larger samples it has to be taken to the lab within two hours or frozen. That will be interesting. I'll try and do that on the weekend because then I can take it over to the clinic five minutes away. I am down to an 1/8th tank of gas and trying to decide who to beg money from for gas.

It's winter as far as the tree is concerned, the weather agrees since it was in the low 50's this morning and not much warmer right now 3 hours after I left the apartment this morning at dawn. Phone is behaving as best it has been so have no idea what happened to it. Search on the internet said it may have been a hardware/software conflict and shut down due to that. It is woefully short on storage since it hasn't recognized a sim card being installed. I looked at a new phone and it would be about $100 just for the phone and then a bit more to include a case and insurance and all that. So that's for a Samsung Galaxy A16, which is not too shabby just not top of the line. Something I can hope for next year.

Not even half way through the month and I am sunk for money. We get a boost in the SS money next month which is negligible considering I'll have a new $85 medical payment pulled out immediately. Have to buckle down and just not have any fun for a few months is all.

Sigh. I'm tired. 

 

 

Just when you think it can't get worse (Good Update)

 My phone just froze up. It's not responding to any buttons at all. I charged it overnight, used it this morning when I woke up. Put it on the side table for less than an hour, maybe and when I picked it up again it was a blank screen. No response. Okay go plug it in again and it is now frozen on the logo screen for Samsung. Haven't dropped it, it is a hardware issue not phone service account so it's not like they turned off my phone due to non-payment. 

I have been keeping my food and output logs on a notepad app and wasn't able to back it up because of incompatibility with computer. Needless to say I do not have the money for a new phone and did not have insurance on it due to breaking three phones consecutively last year. A reasonably good new phone is going to be about $250 out the door and that's a modestly new phone with a case and insurance. At least I was able to find what model it is due to saving the user manual for the previous one on my computer. Big help that is though.

As usual this is in the catastrophic situation category. I have $85 in the bank that is not enough to cover all the remaining bills for the month either. What other way could my year conceivably end on than catastrophic right? Needing a new phone for Christmas present was not on my list.

Doctor is going to ask what my bio output has been like the past few weeks and I'm going to have to guess and give rough estimates rather than having a detailed account.  

So, no phone calls or messages until further notice. Only access to anyone is on computers. 

It seems it was an update apparently because it's all good now. I HATE 'automatic' updates without any warning. 

See, like I told someone. When in all is lost in despair and doubt, run in circles scream and shout. Then, come back to the problem and realize you were a ninny.
 

 

And a wonderful time was had by all

 

The drive up to CJ's and back again was uneventful, other than one stretch of highway that made me concerned I might have gotten a flat tire, it was bumpy bad. Other than that, the weather was perfect, the friends and food was equally perfect and came home with some goodies of course. Chocolate chip cookies, yarn and a mug. Wonderful veggies and salad, steaks were fantastic and the potatoes were wonderful! 

Need to figure out how to do that on a monthly basis because even my Jon had a grand time as the other Jon gave him a tour of the house and all the fun and useful new kitchen appliances. As we sat on their back patio Jon 2 looked up and noticed an odd flock of birds wheeling around and said, 'are those pelicans?' I looked up and said YES! Then snapped a photo best I could. IF they aren't pelicans not sure what they would be, that big and circling slowly with that coloring. 

The downside of this wonderful excursion, I started with a full tank of gas, I want to say mostly full because it was above the F two days before the trip and was on the F when we left home. It is now down to ⅓ of a tank. In a prime condition car that would only take a half tank. So we are on travel restrictions for the remainder of the month other than going to the store occasionally. Because we are also broke so might be asking for gas money so we can get to Jon's doctor appointment next week. 

Speaking of store, I am restricting my diet even more after yesterdays 'gluttony' and wondering if this is going to be a permanent thing given how long it's been going on. I bought a big container of yogurt and four smaller ones of different flavors. So far, strawberry, cherry and vanilla are all palatable. I also restocked on bananas and apples bought five or six white potatoes (because they are delicious! And they are on approved things to eat) but forgot to get some saltines and regular white bread. Oh well. If the regular intake of yogurt does the job I'll be happy. I am already getting kind of tired of soft fruity things and want to sink my teeth into a crunchy grilled cheese sandwich or a taco with all the fixings. A burrito, a club sandwich or even a BLT! (Bacon is ridiculously expensive). I'm hungry right now of course but have to wait a couple of hours to have my evening 'snack' to take my pill.

Remember when I mused about old people having small appetites and changing their diet? I really jinxed myself with that. Having a wide range of food I can eat and enjoying flavors and textures is a gift of having been raised with excellent cooks for parents. Losing the ability of eating wide ranges of food and larger portions is more devastating to me mentally than I want to admit. Second only to losing my eyesight.

So, we adjust and adapt to changing life. doesn't mean we have to do it quietly. I will not go quietly into the sunset of my years goshdarnit! 

 

Well a little more to report..not good

 Financial issues of course. I got an update on my hospital/doctor costs for the previous few months and now owe $1050 which includes the $120 that was there before. I have car registration due next month for $167. I made payhment arrangements for the doctor bill for $85 a month for a year starting next month. That does not include any future costs next year. Lord help us if one of us has to go to the ER or urgent care. 

And here I thought things were getting better or at least holding steady.

Now that my car is functional I just have to make sure it stays legal and then maybe try and sell some things from storage. Like I've tried to do for the past four years. We basically need an extra $200 a month to stay afloat, I've said before if it were easier to get to storage or even had free storage, that would be the kicker. We would have to spend a tank of gas in in a week or two to drive up there and spend all day there sorting and tossing things or taking to goodwill. That would be once or twice. Now that I don't have as many doctor visits (knock on wood) gas isn't as much of an option but that is also getting more expensive. 

Just can't get a break. It took us two days to sort and move Jon's two storage units, two days to move all out stuff out of the condo in Mira Mesa to storage. I am trying to work on the problems at hand but sometimes it's just a bit overwhelming and I want to fix it NOW but have no means to do so.

Anyway, that's one of my end of year updates. I did contact my oncologist about starting the chemo pills and got a message from my primary about making a video appointment for next week. Other than that...

Everything is just going swimmingly, in a swampish undertow kind of way. 

 

It's the little things

 Not much to report, change in the weather which my sinuses picked up on two days ago. Had some wild winds overnight and blew the weather out. So it's going to be clear, crisp and nippy overnight and 'sweater weather' during the day. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All the pretty leaves on the ground and no more on the tree. You can also see just how clear the sky is, but yesterday there were wispy clouds and some high altitude rollers. 

The little things: I found a yogurt flavor I can tolerate! Took a chance on strawberry cheesecake flavor and bought another 'very vanilla' of Yoplait and must say that first one is rather tasty. No chemical/moldy aftertaste at all. Now, I must say that if they had 'mandarin' or 'orange cream' I would be all over it but this had small bits of strawberry in it and I think that helped. Another note; My brain keeps thinking 'pudding' which has the same texture all the way through, this is not the case with yogurt so the texture difference was a hurdle to get over as well. Yes I am stirring from the bottom of the container to make sure it's all mixed thoroughly. Though might not have done that with the first vanilla one. 

So as for my new diet and that situation, I'm pretty much eating normal but throwing in an occasional banana or large apple as a snack, with a yogurt sometimes. Results vary of course but seems to be getting better. Aggh! I totally forgot to contact my doctor's office and ask about starting the chemo tablets! Knew I forgot something! Need to start that ginkgo again as well, hehe.

Another little thing; for years and years I have wanted a zip up sweatshirt hoodie. I have never been able to find one that was the right color/fit/style. I found one last year of all places on the community table. Navy blue, has some paint smudges on the sleeve and the only problem is, it won't zip up. The bottom is not coming together well and it seems to be a wearing out issue. I got it started once but then was afraid I wouldn't be able to get it off so I unzipped it. It's comfy, it's warm, not too hot, perfect for sitting at the computer on chilly nights. I absolutely love the fit! (even though it's a big snug around the middle) I have been wearing my 'Pooh' jacket that I got from Disneyland years ago but in recent years and even before it was never 'comfy'. The sleeves were not tight cuffed at the wrist, the inside of the sleeves became scratchy and it was okay but just wasn't comfy any more.  (side note: just decided to try and zip up my hoodie anyway and was successful. Yay! And then a hot flash comes along and need to unzip it!)

So lots of little things lately,  cooked some penne pasta with marinara meat sauce tonight, going to cook up the other half of the hamburger for taco meat tomorrow. Remember that trick of putting hamburger in a big freezer bag and flattening it? Will I did that but didn't separate the two halves as much as needed so just thawed the two pounds of meat. Have had a hankering for crunchy home made tacos or taco salad or tostada lately. Have all the fixings other than mexican rice so might do that for lunch tomorrow. Yeah, make some fresh salsa...oh wait, I'm supposed to be on a restricted diet......

HA! 

 

Things are interesting

 I completely forgot to call or messsage everyone on Thanksgiving and I apologize for that. You were all in my thoughts but due to not being up to snuff clouded my normal connections with family and friends. I hope everyone had a pleasant day filled with food and warmth and hope to connect with everyone on Christmas or close to it.

 Nothing dramatic, just the constant anxiety about intestinal upset and what it could be. We got food money on Monday and SS money on Saturday oddly enough but that made it easier to get some things done. Jon got a new charger set up for his computer. Which, funny enough he had bent the grounding prong on the actual plug that goes from the 'brick' (honestly have no idea what it is) that goes to his computer. The brick and plug for that was fine....what did he do in his confusion? Threw out that part and kept the broken plug. There was no way of getting just that plug anyway so it was an easy thing to get and less than $15. 

We got household goods and food aplenty now and since we still had plenty of leftover chicken and hamburger and beef I didn't have to stock up on that for the month. What I did find was pork ribs, and we're not talking about the cheap mostly bone and gristle ones... these are restaurant quality with a hunk of meat on them. Smallest package I found at Costco was only $17 and more than enough for the two of us. I was so stoked! That is going to be a feast! 

Went to see Dr  Camberos for a follow up and told him about the internal upset, he gave me a few ideas for getting a different type of yogurt but as far as a timeline for surgery. They want to wait at least 6 months after radiation to do surgery. I was like.... 6 months? My range of motion is good, everything has healed fine and next appointment with him is in February.  The plan, due to having thin skin on the front is to take some fat from the side pocket under my arm and move it to pad the front a little. So that will involve an extra incision at the time but honestly, whatever it takes. 

As for my intestinal upset it's actually better today. Remarkably better, but then I hardly ate anything until after 3. Had an egg, sausage and a piece of plain toast for breakfast, no rumblings or grumblings much all day. Even when I got home being almost two hours after I had an In N Out burger, fries and half a coke I had the first 'regular' bio in weeks. So relieved. Feeling a bit bound up right now but nothing too bad. Will see what happens tomorrow or later tonight. We stopped at the store to pick up some whipped cream (because Jon HAD to get a pumpkin pie at Costco today, it's a mandatory holiday treat) and I picked up a 'Very Vanilla' Yoplait' yogurt that Camberos recommended instead of the greek yogurt (which he said is kind of sour... yeah discovered that) Needed more 'live' or 'active' bacteria which the Greek did not. Well, that will be relegated to another dressing/sauce recipe I am sure. I was going to have some apple tonight but I think I'll wait until breakfast tomorrow for apple and yogurt. If I can tolerate the yogurt I'll likely get a couple more just to be on the safe side.

 An absolutely adorable picture of Rocky snuggled under the cover. He had been laying with his paws over his eyes so I tiptoed over and pulled the cover over him completely. About twenty minutes later I turned around and saw this. 

That's pretty much it for now. Jon has a surgeon appointment next week (nothing major, he has a suspicious polyp in his nether region) but other than that we have a car trip up to see CJ on Saturday. Weather should be good all the way! Yay! 

 

Happy Thanksgiving, for one and all

Spent a lovely evening with wonderful food and family as usual. No pictures because I never remember and am never comfortable taking pictures of family for some reason.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The tree on the left is a lot brighter colored in reds, but because of the sun being behind it, the phone camera had to dim the picture. It was relatively warm today, only in the 70's and then after dark, of course, it drops right down to jacket temps in the 50's.

I had very little for food in the morning which included half a coke in small sips over an hour. I am writing down what and when I eat. I don't have all the things needed for the BRAT diet unfortunately so not doing very good on that front. I had small portions of everything offered so I didn't get overstuffed.  The turkey was perfect, spatchcocked as usual, potatoes were a bit watery but still tasty, I even tried a few of the carrots which were delicious. I don't normally like cooked carrots but these were good mixed with some sweet potatoes. Stuffing of course and a small slice of pumpkin pie. So the only dish that might have had milk in it was the potatoes.

We were talking about all our favorite foods an hour before dinner was ready. All the things,sandwiches and Mexican food mostly. Amber said they discovered a great taco shop right around the corner from them that has great food, big portions and moderate prices. If Amber recommends it as large portions and moderate prices with good tasting food, we're there. I just hope my system is up to having that kind of food.

Am feeling much better than I was a week ago at least but would like to be more normal at least. My radiation burns are all but healed, wearing a bra without any extra bandage. Will see what they say on Tuesday and will mention my intestinal issues. Not that it has anything to do with their care, but if they want to start scheduling the next surgery, not sure if that would be considered a delay.

Something just came to mind about images of holidays. I wore an oversized polo shirt, no jacket even though I knew it would be nippy when we left Amber's. The classic images of Christmas and Thanksgiving has people in nice clothes that tend to be on the warm side. Shirts with a knitted sweater or pullover, things like that. I have yet to be in a home for a holiday where it was cold enough to need an extra layer of clothing. When you get that oven and stove cranking, especially in a small apartment then add in about a half dozen bodies... there is no need for a sweater. I think it came close in my sis in laws house but that was a vast two story home and even then it wasn't that cold.  Just an observation of how antiquated some of our imagery is compared to the average living style now.

And finally a beautiful hibiscus at another apartment in the complex. Can't say it's a chimera but definitely a color mutation. I'll be keeping an eye on that bush and hope she keeps it alive to see another year of blooms.