(I entered everyone's email that I thought would be interested in getting these updates. If you have gotten email notifications, please please please contact me either by email or phone messaging. If I don't hear from anyone I will assume that the emails were incorrect or I'm just talking to myself here).
Today was just an ultrasound on the cleavage side of left breast. Nurse
tech showed it to the doctor on site and consensus was it hadn't grown
*that* much but due to everything else happening (aka 'my history'),
they're going to do a biopsy on that one too.
Even traffic was not a problem getting to Mira Mesa and back even at almost 9 am. Only problem was discovering I needed gas before I headed all the way back home. Had to pay 4.79/gal at a shell station and since I was only down about an eighth tank twenty dollars got me up to half a tank. Will fill the rest of the way at Costco probably tomorrow.
At this rate, I am suspecting surgery will likely be next month.
Since I prefer afternoon appointments the soonest available appointment was June 26, that sounded very familiar and remembered it was the cataract consult. I got online after I got home and cancelled that. Cancer is more important than eye surgery at this point. I knew when they scheduled that last year something would come up and would have to cancel. Almost a year out is way too far and have nothing happen in between. Tomorrow's appointment is with Radiology Oncology doctor at Grossmont with Dr. Fossum. Since we'll be in the area of Costco, it's a drop kick to do shopping after the appointment which is at 1:15.
In good news, I finally found a bra that fits! It's only a little loose on the shoulders but it's comfy and will do for now. No wires, t-shirt fabric but some support so I'm good for a while. Food money is being spent, rent check is dropped off, with the money that we had to pay for medical expenses, going to be short on bills this month for sure.
Weather is warming up consistently now, it was dead calm and overcast yesterday, now breezy and hazy today and mid to high temps. Will be posting on garden blog later with ruminations on that endeavor.
As a person with a life altering situation happening that may not end up very well, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the important things in life. Who and what I will leave behind and how it will all be managed. It is a difficult topic to bring up with family and just thinking about it makes me choke up and cry. I have regrets of course, but nothing that could have been changed or be fixed or finished in the future. Knitting projects like crazy that are not finished, mountains of things from a lifetime in storage that will not be needed any longer. I 'm cataloguing all that of course in a future blog.
When you spend a life acquiring things that make you happy, it is a transient happiness, as Jon says 'it feeds the soul'. But when you really take an objective look at it, they are things. They are only worth money if you sell them. They acquire dust and are not feeding your soul if they are boxed up and unseen. It's difficult for Jon to part with his collectibles and I made a foolish promise I would not force him to throw things away or give them up. He's going to have to face that hard fact that things aren't as important as food and a roof over your head. I was never a really big collector of things, I had a horse model collection but I played with those, I have my 'antique/vintage' doll collection that is worthless now due to mildew getting on them years ago. I collected craft things because they were being used at the time but as far as collecting memorabilia and figures and cards, never really got into that. Even back years ago I always thought it was silly to have something and say 'this is worth X dollars!' my response has always been, it's only worth that if someone wants to buy it for that much. It's worth nothing sitting on a shelf or hanging on a wall.
Value is only placed on things when someone feels it has worth in exchange for money. Life and caring and taking care of the person or people close to you is what is worth something.
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