Everything is as good as it can get

 Weather has cleared, sunny and warm. Still gets a wee bit nippy at night when it drops into the low 50's after the daytime is in the low 80's. That's quite a swing but typical for spring weather really.

One of the views in my complex during a walk with Rocky. There's lawn where I'm standing, building to the right and left and behind me is a gazebo or pergola frame at least. Garden is to the left of that Giant Bird of Paradise.

 Not much has been happening which is why there hasn't been a daily post. Internal system is leveling out to a point, hands are still trembling but I think that's going to be with me permanently. So three internal changes that are part of my life, along with the arthritis which has 'returned' since I'm off anti-inflammatory meds. Fingers get stiff and have ached a few times, same with my knees but not as bad. Have to stick with Tylenol to manage aches and pains for now. Thankfully it's not as bad as it was fifteen years ago when I was having to take 1000 mg of naproxen a day. 

We still have food in the kitchen, enough gas in the car to get to the doctor appointment on Thursday and then hopefully we get money on Friday. Still making some meals and then having leftovers, ramen and whatever else we can scrounge, as usual we're getting low on a lot of things, other than meat. I'm  used to the ebb and flow of food by now so it's just a statement of fact at this point. I am thankful we don't have to pay for our prescriptions and some 'medicinal/medical' things are paid for on the other OTC card. The printed list is very limited so it's kind of a pain to have to pull my phone out and check items at the pharmacy to see if they're covered. Which glitches sometimes. Ahhh technology. 

Oh speaking of technology.... grrumble. I got a notification on the imac that it needed to update the OS but there wasn't enough room for it to do that. Took me three days whittling down apps that I could delete and pictures that were ten years old and only memories of plants really. Still tried to do it and it said it still didn't have enough room. I swore I had deleted enough and then remembered the old trick, 'well did you turn it off and on again?'. Yes I had cycled the power but did not shut it down completely. so I did that and then checked the update window... No storage issue message yayayay! So, with that completed I could update the second life viewer on that computer finally and I (unknowlingly) made the mistake of clicking on the disk image (.dmg) too soon and it said the disk was corrupted.. I downloaded from the official site and then took a deep breath, downloaded the dmg again, waited and then bingo, just the downloader image. Yay! So that's all fixed.  I have been trying to stay up to date on all my electronics with updates this time around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 State of the garden today, picture taken around 2 pm. Carrots are getting up there for sure, I culled a small one out that was maybe 4 inches (only about 2 inches edible) and was way too bitter, almost tasted like turpentine. Had to give it a shot you know? Cannot wait for the potatoes. Tried to gently dig around the small purple bush but nothing where I lifted the dirt. Not sure how I feel about eating purple potatoes though.

My nails continue to grow, if they get rough I grab the clippers because I can't find my nail file. Thumbnails are still struggling but I'm not chewing them. I also remember why I never liked long nails, especially as an adult. I hate getting stuff under my nails. Dirt, food, anything. So making meals is interesting, especially the meatloaf. Yuck. Need to invest in a nail brush for the kitchen for hand use not cleaning. Getting used to typing 'flat fingered' as my middle two nails are the longest. I've made a few typos where my nail contacted the keyboard base but finger didn't hit the key. Learning curve you might say.

So that's it for today. More news on the other side after my doctor visit. 

 

No more rain for a while

Still a bit nippy at night and is sweater weather for the most part. It's clear and barely breezy right now at 4:45 , so barely even any haze on the horizon from my vantage point. 

SO. I had to refill my pill compartment for night pill last night and was going through my assortment of bottles to find the right one and found the Prednisone bottle. That still had 3 pills left. OOPS! I thought I was done with them because I was going according to the calendar not how many pills I had left. Need to figure out what doctor to contact and ask if I should just never mind or take them. Too late to message now they wont' see it until next week anyway.

I was going to contact my GI doctor about my other issue but, that appears to have cleared up today. Stupid wacky body issues making me hesitate and get all confused. I am having more A-Fib issues today, sleep was okay, only woke once with leg issue but knew I had to go pee. Jon beat me to the bathroom so I had to sit and massage my calf waiting. Then woke up around 7 again, but due to Rocky wanting out of the bathroom because it was morning and breakfast time. By the time I finished doing that, I was awake and so was Jon. So.. no sleeping in today.   

It all worked out and usually does. I keep forgetting that we have 28 days this month and not 30 or 31. So hopefully only 8 more days left for money considering March 1 is a Sunday we could get money on the Friday before. A week from today. Still a stretch but we'll survive.  

Now, just have to gently and kindly tell Jon he needs to please pay attention when I say what we spend money on.  Like dividing what he buys for groceries and what I can use the EBT on. He bought all six cases of water instead of letting me buy the second three. I will admit, slap my hand, I spent $40 on Pollo Loco and that was an extreme expense that shouldn't have happened on the EBT money.  No more frivolous meals like that. We usually try to keep our extra meals around $20-$30 and we sometimes either split it or he buys one time and I buy another. A sandwich that we split is about $20 and that's at Jersey Mike's. We haven't been to our favorite sandwich shop in over a year because of the cost mostly. Sure it's worth it but if we did go there we'd have to go dutch. 

Managing money is tough when you have so little and yet want so much more. You get tired of having to cook every day, you know? Sometimes I want a good burger and fries, or a nice hearty sandwich. Something that someone else is an expert at cooking.

This was today's meal. Meatloaf and fries for me, Jon had rice with his and used some of the jalapeño tomato sauce as his gravy. No ketchup was used in this recipe, was very moist and cooked 'medium well'. Packet of Italian Dressing and Mushroom Gravy, chopped onion, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper, milk, two eggs and however much breadcrumbs I had left. Turned out delicious! Fries are still from the bag I got way back last year from the food pantry event.  Cooked up the fries in the oven super easy, sprayed the baking sheet with cooking oil, put the fries down, did another light spray and then sprinkled some salt just before putting them in the oven. Oh, they also mostly thawed because I got them ready too soon. Meatloaf wasn't done yet by about ten minutes but it all worked out. Almost In-N-Out worthy fries.

So that's all the news fit to spit on the internet for me. 

'So far so good' said the man who jumped out of the 20 story building.
 

 

Rainy, rainy and more rain.

It's all well and good of course, actually drove to the doctor and back again in mostly rain. Nothing has horrendous as the trip I tried a few months ago, but enough to be careful as always. Other than personal medical issues, that's the most exciting thing happening lately.

 Same view, different day. Although it did clear off a bit in between but this is what we have for weather. There was a weather report on the news about people going down to the beach to watch the high surf and weather. Oh heck no! I've been to the beach when it's sunny and windy and too damn cold for me!

As for personal things, saw my plastic surgeon and because of all my other issues going on now, we have to delay making any plans for boob surgery until after I see my cardiologist in April. Because heart issues are a very high priority danger when dealing with major surgery, have to get clearance from cardiologist first.

Last night was uncomfortable. I think was laughing too much because I ended up in a coughing fit with A-fib hiccups going on which makes me cough more. I had to sit and breathe as deep as I could and relax my system. I was fine by the time I had to get up to pee a few hours later. Even now a few hiccups are happening just sitting at the desk.  Now that I know what is making me cough like that it's a different situation rather than just 'congestion'.

My lower GI is ..... not happy. Not going into details but it's not painful and definitely not the same it was a week or two ago. I'm going to be messaging Dr Keller about what is going on because having bright red in every bm, not good. I won't see him technically until next month, but will see if he wants to step up the schedule or not. I know he wants another test done but without a lot of solid matter really will have to see.

Okay enough  icky TMI.

Cooking food is happening, which is good. I was looking over one of the regular forms that I fill out before every appointment and it lists 'current medical issues'. One of them apparently was 'malnutrition', which I can only suspect was from when I was checked into the hospital. I hadn't eaten anything solid for at least a few days or more and had lost some weight. I am able to click the box for removing it and then putting in the reason, so mine was 'eating normally now'. I have to check with my primary about other things on there like Vitamin B deficiency (I think it was that or D). It doesn't show up on my blood work that I've noticed and not sure when that was entered.  So anyway.

My appetite is still down from when I was on Prednisone, but at least I'm not turning food away. Fixing what I can with what we have because we still have another two weeks before end of the month. We have plenty of meat, no worries there, just what to do with it that isn't the same three or four recipes on rotation. Which, would need extra ingredients of course that we don't have the money for.  I've done chicken 'cacciatore' and had sauce left over so a few days Later I added a can of tomato sauce and more spices, boiled up spaghetti and had another full dinner...with leftovers again (that I am eating right now and is enough for two people so there will be leftovers....again).

Fixed an odd Mexican inspired shrimp on rice today. Still want Mexican food of some sort!!! So added some spices to the shrimp and some lime juice, fried that up then added in some tomato sauce with jalapeno (El Pato brand). That made a tasty, spicy kind of sauce and cut the shrimp all in half to stretch it a bit more. So there was rice leftover from that as well, I had rice leftover with some lime juice and sauce and there was a small bit of plain rice in the cooker. Mix that together put in a container and in the fridge. Making leftovers, of leftovers to make things stretch. I know my appetite is down because I used to be able to eat an entire box of mac and cheese. I had to stop most of the way through the other night and then heated up the remainder the next day with a little milk added. There's the key, don't add water, add milk, adds to the creaminess and a little bit goes a long way. 

I honestly don't know what's safe to eat anymore. I fix food that I know we'll eat and tastes good and might have leftovers. Most of what I've seen on colitis and other pages I don't even have available now. Fresh salmon, good luck with any fish that isn't canned really, I chanced on a can of salmon and another few cans of tuna a few weeks ago. Low fiber, easy to digest foods. Right. I have plenty of chicken and rice at least. For now.

Okay, it's raining hard again, blustery and cold outside. Great weather for watching from inside a nice warm abode.  Mostly warm. Still need my hoodie. 

 

 

 

Today is, odd.

 No leg cramps or spasms, slept okay and in fact slept in past 7. Yesterday we were both up at 7 despite me wanting to sleep in. But despite all that, something is off..not quite sure what it is but want to guess finally dropped off the prednisone effects. Appetite is almost non-existent, except this morning when I woke up hungry but not ravenous. Not that I was tired, just not enthusiastic about doing anything.

The rain has subsided for today but really pounded down last night around ten. Seriously came down hard enough I thought it might be hail but just heavy cloudburst of rain. So garden is thoroughly saturated and everything survived the wind as well.

So, low energy but not fatigue. I cooked up some chicken strips which was an energy and focus struggle for me. I wanted to do a double coating but didn't see what I needed to do for the batter and just ended up soaking them in milk and egg whipped up. They turned out okay, I just don't have any enthusiasm for much right now. Fumbled some of the utensils as I was moving things and cooking, nothing major thankfully. Even some of the things that Jon has been doing is kind of getting on my nerves again  nothing really major. 

He uses 70% alcohol for cleaning oil off dishes and pans. The smell of medical alcohol takes me all the way back to when I was a kid going to the doctor and how the exam room always smelled like rubbing alcohol. Which is not a comforting thing for the times I had to go see the doctor. Again, annoying and internal grumble inducing. 

He said kindly that the chicken we had yesterday one of the pieces was ice cold. Which is physically impossible. I fried them thoroughly, sliced them up, checking for pinkness inside and then put them in the microwave for an extra 30 seconds just to be sure they were cooked through. So not sure what he was talking about or what he encountered. I told him as much and also that the pieces he went back for a second round had been sitting on the counter near an open window. Easy for small pieces to get very cold. So, whatever.

My right shoulder is twinging which is a sign I am holding tension and anxiety there. That only started a little while ago so Tylenol it is. Can't take any muscle relaxants, anti-inflammatory or even any chest congestion meds without checking with doctors first. I'm coughing a bit more but it's chest not heart induced. Can't seem to clear my throat completely and there's tightness when I take a deep breath. Yes, technically need to be on an inhaler but again it's just noise value at this point. 

Heart monitor is off my chest and out of my hands, I got an email notification of new test results available but the only one I found was from last month which I already saw and so did my doctor. Looking further it was the Hep A&B test results that were negative/ non-immune so need to contact my primary and make arrangements for those.

Not even sure what I want to do with my day. Already took Rocky out and it was cold outside! Breezy with high puffy clouds and beautiful pale blue sky peeking through in spots.  

So an 'off day' but not exactly sure how to pinpoint what, how or why. Just an off day.

Rambling Rainy Day Post

Yes, we got rain and some wind! 

Not pounding torrential rain but definitely a good solid, steady rain which my garden needed. The hills are slowly disappearing as the next downpour approaches (or recedes or moves on). 

There's another taller hill/mountain behind those small hills so that says something about the density of the rain falling. It's wonderful. Rocky isn't happy he can't go out but he had some run around time, played with him on his wobbly post, need to trim his claws. Didn't catch me too bad, just one small nick and despite being in blood thinners, it stopped in seconds. The other day one of the other residents daughter who helps her saw me walking him around and said, 'he's big how much does he weigh?' I shrugged, 'haven't a clue, maybe fifteen pounds' she assumed the 'I'm an expert at guessing cat weight' attitude and said something about working at a vet and he had to be at least 25 pounds. I told her no way, I can't pick up 25 pounds easily so yeah, probably about 15. Well I weighed him using the combined weight subtract mine.... 16 pounds. Don't tell me how much my cat weighs if you don't heft him on a regular basis and toss his fluffy butt on the bed. Oh and my weight is about the same (209) given the time of day and other variables. 

So the heart monitor has been itching and feeling like it's pulling a bit on my skin. I just replaced it three days ago and then looked at the little pamphlet that has the start and end date and time on it. Today's the day it comes off in about an hour and a half then will UPS it tomorrow in it's little pouch. YAY! One science tech down. 

I'm feeling about the same energy and overall good as yesterday. Barely any leg spasms or cramps overnight or in the morning... my theory may be proving correct or it may be from meds, who knows. What matters is feeling better, getting stronger and the weather is weathering.

I fixed the 'chicken ranch wraps' today, decided not to make the trip to the store for the bacon but they were still yummy. Used my DIY rotisserie chicken seasoning on the chicken thighs and put them in the fridge for an hour or so. Ranch dressing, decided on using one of the small red onions, lettuce and tomato and the second one I remembered the pepperoncini which added a nice little twang. It was delicious and no leftovers of chicken! That's a do again for sure and could use the breasts if I wanted as well. Not your typical rainy day meal but that's what I planned and glad I did. Jon even remarked that he loved the sauce. Told him it was just homemade ranch with some extra pepper and garlic. Sometimes I think he compliments my food just to sound enthusiastic. No doubt it was delicious but not recognizing ranch dressing? When we first met he said he loved ranch dressing and would have it all the time. Oh well. Just happy that I make food he likes and we have so many foods that we like together. 

It's still raining. Doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon. Garden is getting a good watering at least and my excited, child like gardener in the back of my brain wants to grab an umbrella and go see. I'm that way about streams and rivers too. After a good rain I want to go see how full the streams and rivers are and most trails are closed of course after a rain storm. Something about moving water like that is exciting to me, not sure where it came from, have always loved lakes and streams...from the shore. I remember being not quite petrified but definitely overly cautious and anxious being in a small rowboat on a small lake. I can swim, that's not an issue but goes back to when I was like 5 and 'almost drowned' in Acapulco.... my brother will contest my version of the story of course.  

So that's my rainy day ramble, not much else to do or talk about. Guess I'll go play my ipad games, do some knitting, toodle around on the interwebs.... and watch the rain outside. 

 

The hits just keep coming.

 Overall I'm feeling great though. Sleep was okay, had some leg spasms but slept enough and felt energized and almost completely normal today. An amazing feeling for sure. I got out of the shower and no breathing problems, not winded, steady balance, not starving I got out of the shower and realized it was after 11 and I hadn't taken my morning meds yet, stuck my head out and asked jon to make a pbj so I could take my pills. He asked, 'one slice or two?'... I thought.... that's an odd question, I asked for a sandwich. Well...his idea of a 'sandwich' is apparently open face on a single slice of bread. After all these years and I had only ever seen him make a 'standard' sandwich. I have no idea where he picked up single slice 'sandwich'. I just pulled out two more pieces of bread and had two sandwiches. I am still kind of dumbfounded about that.  

So yeah, not feeling like I want to bite everything in sight, people or food. Not ravenously hungry anymore and took my last prednisone this morning. Just down to three 'maintenance' pills in the morning and one in the evening. Yay for minimal meds!

The clouds flattened out more as the day progressed so this is likely the front edge of the 'big storm' coming Monday and Tuesday. We know how that works by now for weather in SoCal. Supposed to rain in the next twenty four hours or so, it was cloudy enough today but the clouds were too high.  

Really cool rocket trail last night from the launch at Vandenburg (I think?). The mission to the  ISS I suppose. I don't pay attention to that anymore, it's all background noise.

So the next hit that came was email from AMR...the ambulance ride I had a month ago. My copay is $250 which I had suspected which I am now kicking myself for not having Amber take me straight to emergency instead. It would have been $100 cheaper. Still can't afford it but AMR wanted me to submit my insurance card info and then they'd get back to me, whenever. Also 'we can help make payment arrangements' message on the account as well.

Yep. Medical debt. Yippee....

Going to try and stop at storage on Thursday before or after my appointment and try to pull some stuff out, maybe books or something to take to goodwill. Books go to the library, not goodwill. None of my leisure reading books are worth anything really, kept them for sentimental value so if they aren't buried too deep I'll try and haul that to the library. Have to start paring that down which takes time, gas and money.

Anyway. It's been a reasonable day, fixed another good meal, shrimp stir fry and hopefully tomorrow will be doing chicken bacon ranch wraps. Depends on whether we go to the store and get more bacon.  Saw my favorite home cook do them with chicken thighs and some spicy ranch, regular ranch is just fine. I just made a batch from a mix packet, added a little extra pepper and a crushed garlic clove. We have at least a few flour tortillas so here's to a different kind of healthy lunch. In looking for other ideas on that on pinterest I want to say 99% used breaded and fried chicken. Chunks or long pieces, I can see the attraction for that but just flavoring and then searing the chicken and slicing it up is just fine. We have tomato, lettuce, onion, that'll be good (and cheese if Jon wants that).

I did have two 'cooking fails' but only for snacks. I have wanted mexican food of most any kind for two weeks now. I bought two cans of refried beans and tried to remember how to doctor them up. Well I put about a third of a cup in the glass measuring cup then added (what I thought) was a small amount of the Better than Bullion and some water. Wellllll apparently that small amount was WAY too much and I had to dump it down the drain. The other attempt I can't remember now but it was also something equally disastrous on a small scale. Good thing I had made egg salad that morning and settled for a sandwich.  

So yeah. Feeling mostly normal for a change, I think even my legs might behave tonight. I was stretching my calf last night and when I was out with Rocky today, the left calf is still kind of stiff but doesn't feel like it's going to cramp too badly I hope. I think I only had a small cup of potato salad, not sure, but haven't had any of the ham soup in three days. I know it takes time for salt to work out of your system so here's hoping that's the key. Was looking through my posts and I started feeling crappy Jan 11 two days after my colonoscopy. I was starting to feel low energy before that but it seemed to really hit then. Anyway, keeping track is good information for doctors. I was actually trying to figure out when my leg cramps started which seems to be toward the end of  January.

Here's hoping for more good days and consistent sleep.  

 

And of course...

 Yeah, another surprise when I went to pay the SDGE bill. It wasn't just the 55.25 there was a 'past due' of 24.12 as well (approximate change but doesn't matter). So luckily was able to get a little extra from someone else and paid both of those with enough to pay phone bill with an extra $10 or so left over. Phone isn't due until the 20th on autopay so won't be spending any money if at all possible.  

Ratsafrackin....  

I got a check in call from my case manager and she asked the questions, how am I doing, sleeping okay, meds okay that sort of stuff. Told her the Sharp app said I had two prescriptions that were due for refill but they were done in the hospital and I couldn't order a refill. One is the blood thinner which cardiologist said was on my permanent list and the other is a beta blocker that lowers my blood pressure and keeps my veins relaxed. Nice. Important when fending off heart attack and A-fib.

She was able to get those refilled for me and we made a late night quick drive over to the pharmacy to pick those up last night.  Jon had to get mostly dressed again because I was going to leave it for the morning but then realized I would need the blood thinner for bed and the next morning. 

I mentioned the leg cramps to Tamara (case worker) and she was trying to puzzle it out, we checked all my important numbers for last labs and all that is fine. I then voiced my concern over the GFR (kidney function) numbers which seemed to be bouncing around and said that sometimes the cramps diminish after I pee. That kind of confused her and we were trying to puzzle things out when I told her don't worry about it I'll check my food logs and see what's going on. She double checked to make sure I didn't want to mention the cramps to a doctor and told her no, I'll figure it out.

Well it turns out, high salt intake can inhibit potassium and magnesium from being absorbed properly. The nights when I had bad cramps were within a day of having at least two bowls of the hams soup that has a TON of salt/sodium in it. When I didn't have that I had other things like processed meats, fried chicken and other things that had high salt content.  So will now watch my salt intake for the next week because I had spasms on and off all night culminating in a zinger at 6 am. I ended up going back to bed and slept in until almost 9:30. Was not in a good mood this morning when I woke up and it delayed everything but felt better after I got some food and a shower.  I don't get spasms when I have to pee during the day so that is likely just a false assumption on my part. But salt/sodium, that's a bigger red flag and not good for the heart either.

At least we have $20 in food money. Need incidental things like milk and maybe get some water flavoring and ice cream.  I just discovered that coke now has orange cream soda. Oh that is dangerous information for me. Jon's out of regular coke but with only $20 that's a luxury we can't afford right now.

Once again, something that happened yesterday and was going to hop on and add to the blog then decided I'd just do it for today and...can't remember what it was.  Maybe I already mentioned it, but obviously not very important or I'd remember right?

Oh, my fingernails are growing out because for whatever reason with my normal anxiety not being triggered I'm not wanting to chew my nails. That may come as a shock but my entire adult life and maybe even before I have always chewed my nails. I guess it was a substitute for sucking my thumb in grade school and so I have rarely ever had nails that were longer than maybe 1/8th of an inch. 

That is considered long in my book. Thumbnails are still being nibbled but not the other fingers and if they get much longer I trim them down. No inclination to chew them to smooth or shorten. That's an odd win for personal habits considering everything else going on. Or due to everything else going on. I don't recommend serious illness as a cure for bad personal habits at all.

Right now it's almost 5:30 and I'm exhausted. Feel like I did gardening and worked out but just cooked an excellent 'dinner' of chicken thighs in pasta sauce. Can't call it chicken cacciatori because no mushrooms. Still delicious and I should have only had one thigh but it was delicious and had already eaten some of the second one. Oh well, so I'm stuffed and want something sweet to drink but nothing left in that category. Strawberry yogurt is about the only thing left I think. 

Anyway. That's it for yesterday and today. Time for another bottle of water.