Take a deep breath...

and hope to relax.
In a little under twelve hours I will be in process for surgery.
I got off work an hour early today, my manager called me over and said, "go home... it's slow and you need to spend time with your family." Then he gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Damn... got all teary eyed... said goodbye to a couple of people but decided to leave before I started crying.
No, it's not out of any morbid thoughts but I won't see any of these people for two months and they're all family. Hell, when we say goodbye the day before a holiday it's like we won't see each other again.
I haven't had any extended time off from any work in the twenty some years I've had to work to survive. The most I've had off is a week, maybe two, and that was 'vacation' where I didn't have any money left and needed to rest from the 'vacation'.
I'm taking eight weeks off. Granted I'm going to be uncomfortable, not as mobile as I usually am, going to be bandaged for most of the time... but I'll be taking care of me.
No one else. Weird feeling that. All my adult life I've taken care of the kids, or a husband and now...it's just.... me.
Well Devon will be helping me out, and my roommate... but I don't know what I'm going to do really.
Maybe write some more on my story, do jewelry designs and teach Devon how to put them together if I can't do it.... sit around on my butt and knit, listen to music and watch movies. Play games....
Wow. Eight weeks is going to fly by I suspect.
Once I can drive again, I can go to all the places that I never get a chance to see due to work. Maybe go to the zoo.
Or sit around.
I filled the prescription for a generic form of vicodin.... then thought maybe I could take one so I could relax and get some actual rest tonight. I called the advice nurse and she sent a page to my doctor but he hasn't called back yet. It's almost ten o'clock and I can't eat or drink anything after 11.
I don't think he'll call unfortunately. I'll have to tough it out one more night and then get some assisted rest tomorrow night.
I remember falling asleep after waking up from recovery after having Kiri. I was wheeled into my room, said hello to my husband then thought, 'now I get to actually rest.' and fell asleep again.
I don't think I was in nearly as much pain as I will be this time but just the same, it'll be nice to get some rest.
I got a shower at least... and have packed some things into a bag. I don't think I need to take my 'suitcase' bag. That's big enough for a full week stay somewhere. I don't need all that space, but on the other hand.... need a change of clothes, ... nope that's about it really. They don't want you to bring any jewelry or valuables, but I do need my knitting... my phone, bracelet and watch will go in the bag, my ipod Devon will keep for me... he's such a trooper.
Okay, think I'll head off to bed now. Going to be a long day tomorrow starting early to go pick up Amber.
She'll be the one to pass info on to everyone on facebook and anyone who isn't on facebook will get news from those that are.
Okay...off to pack and try to relax for the rest of the night.

I don't know where this quote is from, but it is what it is.

"Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle."

Expect me when you see me, which hopefully will be sooner than later.

In all of this I haven't mentioned what hospital I'll be at for those that want to know.

Sharp Memorial Hospital
7901 Frost St.
San Diego, 92123

(and it is quite literally across the street from the building Amber's doctor is in...very convenient and also the same complex where she will be having the twins and had Ava.)