The hammer is coming down.

 We have gotten the official word from the new manager that we need to get this months rent paid or show we are applying for assistance by July 1 or we get a 3 day pay or quit. They have been very nice and accommodating but the Covid19 allowances have stopped and the program for the county that gives rent boost is stopped. Also late fees are back in place at $10 after the 5th and 2$ per day after that.

So $1000 for this month and maybe extra to save for next month is what we need to get ahead of the game.

I'm already looking into donating plasma to get some extra money but that usually comes on a prepaid card so not good for paying rent that I know.

Checking with SDGE for any assistance with that as well. We have food and that's about it.

We are both very, very scared and depressed right now.

 

Some help is coming from a friend, but we can't keep asking for help. I just want to live debt free and worry free for my remaining years.  I want to be able to afford food on a regular basis and a few extra things once in a  while. Never mind the bigger house and a piece of land, peace of mind not worrying about whether I have money for food and rent and other bills right now is my priority.  Being able to not worry about my car falling apart or even whether I have enough money for registration and regular maintenance.

I have never been able to live on my own without stress. It's like one of those perpetual motion machines that can't keep going unless someone pushes a button or turns the crank once in a while. Even working I only had some stability for a short time. Is it me? My luck? Do I have a mental disability and not know it? Living in the wrong city? All of the above?

We wouldn't even be able to afford a hotel for longer than a week on what we have for income. My credit is shot again because I couldn't make a payment this month so getting any kind of loan and last I checked the biggest 'personal loan' was only 300. pfft.

Just trying not to cry right now and not succeeding. 

Why does this always goddamn happen? I can't be the only one and that's the problem, so many others in the same situation and the help only goes so far.

Stopped looking at listings for houses three weeks ago. Useless daydreaming.