So I got paid from SS and then within a few days also got my EBT money. I told Jon that I got the 106 since it was the beginning of the month. By the time we needed groceries again yesterday my brain had translated that to my 400 something allotment. Big mistake because not only do I have to save for rent, storage and then on top of that have to get a smog check and likely an oil change in order to register my car.... I had to pay for $63 of groceries out of my main account. At first I thought someone had hacked my account and drained it down to $11 and was almost shaking and crying on the way home. I didn't realize my accounting mistake until we almost got home and then double checked my account to see it was indeed just the $106 that had come in and we had spent almost all of that before. Stupid brain.
I didn't realize I needed to do (nor had the money for) doing a smog check before I could register until I looked at it when I got my money. So now I am broke and registration expires this month, I am shuttling the grandboys from school to home at least three or four days a week now and I cannot be out on the road with expired tags. Again.
That $63 was supposed to be for tune up and/or oil change. Then when Jon gets his money we are hoping he can pitch in for the registration. Which I can do online... hopefully and have proof of registration printed. I had to cancel AAA otherwise I would drive over there and pay it to get my tags right there.
Why is my life like this? Series of one disaster after another, always running on or over the edge of disaster. It just seems like I cannot live on my own unless someone else is paying the bills. could we live somewhere else less expensive? Yes IF we had the money. Could we get a loan, nope, not happening.
I haven't been able to pay on the electric bill in three or so months so that is up to over 1000, had planned on paying something on that this month as well. Haven't paid for cable either and then there's the previous medical coverage I had through Sharp that I owe $42 on and have to call them and county MedicAid and tell them I'm not covered by anyone else at this time so I can get my coverage card for that. THEN I also have to look into MediCare before October and get that in the chute so I have coverage for that.
And cook food that we have... go pick up the boys and hope a cop doesn't sidle up on my rear like it did today and I was all tense and nervous he was going to try and pull us over on the freeway for tags that expire this month. Yes, technically they aren't expired YET. So much stress in my life right now, not as bad as last year but why should I have any stress at all at my age???
There's another (former) resident here who's ten years older than me and Jon, she's a hoarder and they finally had to give her a notice to move out. By the end of November. She thought it said the end of December and here it is almost mid January and she's tried to have movers come over but they wouldn't pack her literal junk she has all over, she's tried to cajole anyone and everyone including her own son to 'help' her but she wants someone to come in and pack it for her. She is incapable of doing it on her own mentally and a bit physically. We have avoided getting too involved because everyone has warned us not to. Our heart goes out to her really as we've both been homeless but she is literally a leech with the same amount of brain acuity and we're surprised she's not in a managed care home by now. We gave her the phone numbers for rent help and homeless assistance for seniors at least.
We are very thankful that the management has given us so much leeway and we have kept communication open with them. It came close a few months back but we are sharper minded just short on income.
So that's my rant for this post. I post here primarily for posterity as a kind of chronicle of my life combined with the physical journals in storage when I didn't have a computer. So if something happens to me, there's all those and this electronic journal of my life over the last 15 years or so.
And another thing we have to do is set up a living will or whatever. Siiigh.
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