Thoughts for the future...

A bit ago I mentioned that I had become more cynical and not as fun as I used to be, attributing it to being too concerned with the future and not living in the moment. I have the day off tomorrow so I will be putting my thoughts anywhere but worry hopefully.
I had an odd coincidence happen at work Thursday evening. My boss at the fabric store, Peggy, was reading an email from her boss (I believe that would be the owner of the company), and she chuckled at it as I walked past the office door. I paused and looked in and she said,
"I love my bosses philosophy, 'You are what you think. So what are you thinking?' " She proceeded to smile broadly and I saw the wheels in her head turn as she said something about 'I like that!'.
It brought me to mind about all my musings lately and exactly that..what am I thinking? I've been worried about this and that, worried and constantly on edge about surviving and gradually losing my sense of humor.
I think the turning point was the last move out I did. I had to do it alone, again, without any help from coworkers or friends or family other than Devon.
Everyone was too busy to help or had a personal philosophy of not helping anyone to move just because they had a truck.
I think that broke my spirit a little.
The other thing is having my plans suddenly changed due to other people making plans without consulting me first. That breaks me a little more too, putting other people ahead of my own plans.
Amber just called and wanted me to wake her up at 7 so she could drive a friend to work in their car (thankfully). I had planned on getting up early myself and getting out of the house before anyone else was up. There goes that plan. I also planned on taking the camera with me to take pictures of whatever I found interesting. (Just double checked it and changed the batteries out, remembering that they were low the other day.)
So, this change of plans now involves waiting for Amber to come back home and make sure that she is going to be able to watch Ava and not have Devon watch her all day.
I'm going to make sure that she does that as a matter of fact. She said she was going to shuttle someone else around in the borrowed car to different temp agencies so they can find a job.
Noble cause and all, but what about family commitments? I'm going to be leaving her a note tonight to the effect that if she plans on being out all day, she's taking Ava with her.
'Nuf said.
I wanted to go to the tide pools early in the morning because it's been extremely low tide lately, but remembered that it now costs money to get onto the park premises where they are. La Jolla is still free, but then it also might be raining. Not good tidepooling weather, soo. I have not idea what I'm doing tomorrow, I just know that it is not going to include Ava or Amber or Devon.
I am going to have to go to the apartment office though and see about signing the lease. I'm still about forty dollars short on the late fee for this month and hope that they aren't just going to cancel it instead. I didn't get the impression that they would do that, but you know me and my recent pessimistic attitude....

I used to be really good about bouncing back from adversity... well, rubber doesn't stretch so well when it gets old and worn out.