Trying to be more positive.

I was trying to be more enlightened and open today, it feels like I'm trying to open a rusty hinged door. It's something I've gotten out of the habit of thinking in the past few years. I can see the way to do it, but need to get a little more practice in.
Side note: I had to buy a new keyboard tonight. Someone goobered up the old one, but it was due to be replaced anyway. Apparently Amber spilled just a little milk on it and thought she had cleaned it all good, but when Devon tried to use it, he said it didn't work. Which, if he had let me or her know before I got of work, it would have saved me some time. It's a laptop type keyboard which means it's narrower left to right, a little more compact and slimmer. It's going to take a bit to get used to. The action of the keys is a lot smoother,which is good, but I had just cleaned the other one out so it was working fine.

For those of you who are concerned about my Walkabout plans... here's the deal...
First, I have no intentions of drifting around the country without any plan or way of supporting myself. True, I don't have any money right now, but fourteen months is a long way down the road and a lot can happen just in the next week, let alone the next year. In my new outlook, and remembering the words of Wayne Dyer, 'do what you love and the money will take care of itself'. If you do and think positive things, the universe has a way of rewarding you. I plan on opening my insight and positive thoughts more even when I am at work and dealing with less than intelligent average human beings.

I was also thinking today about the meaning of 'being responsible', to yourself and people around you and life in general. One persons responsibilities may be more than someone else can handle. I've handled a lot in my adult life, and have done my best to try and uphold the standards of 'being responsible' to my kids and to my jobs.
Now it's time to start looking at myself and what I need.
That's the whole idea of being an 'empty nester', being able to start focusing on what matters to you, instead of having to put your wants and needs on a back burner for other peoples.
I still have a responsibility to keep my vehicle functioning, keep me fed and clothed, and pay what bills I have in a timely manner. Well...that last one is slacking, but I'm working on it. Do my plans sound like I'm trying to run away from my responsibilities? Deep down, you bet. Realistically, no.
What about those people that decide to bike or walk across the country for some cause? Is that being irresponsible? Were they just hoboing it around? Noo, they had a plan, did people dash their idea of a dream to go across the country? Most likely, but not as many as you would think. What about all those college kids that hike around Europe just for the experience? they stay in hostels, with total strangers they meet at a cafe, with other students... are they having fun? You bet! Should they have hunkered down and not taken that trip and gone to school instead, got a job and shuffled into the mainstream of life? Not according to their plan. they put it on hold while they experienced life in other countries, and expanded their views of the world.
That's what I want to do.
I missed an absolutely gorgeous sunset tonight..well missed it in the sense of not getting a picture of it and seeing it in it's full glory because I was in the car dropping someone off.
It's those kinds of experiences I want to capture and share with the world and my family. How many other people saw that sunset on the beach or on a cliff or mountain? How many people totally missed it because they were busy at work or fixing dinner or driving the other direction on the freeway? More than those who saw it which is kind of sad.
We only have so many sunsets and sunrises on this planet and I want to catch as many of them as possible and remember where I was when I saw them.

I realized that the same philosophy goes with my pictures of flowers. Most people see flowers and think they're beautiful, but when you get down close and actually look at the structure of them, the details, they are even more stunning in the symmetry of the petals. I will start posting photos that I have taken either on Picasa or another photo storage site. I will make them available for people to download and keep for their own. It would be nice to make money from them, but if that's not in the plan, then so be it.
I remember the photo Bart took of a rock crack at some tidepools and made it into a poster that mom had hanging on the wall for a long time. I hope to do the same with some of mine. I have one photo of a arbor at the convention center that I took in color and in black and white, and that one is the most stunning architecturally rather than the one in color.
I'm going to end this posting with a favorite quote from Babylon 5. If you haven't had a chance to watch that show, get it on Netflix, it's one of those shows that has an amazing viewpoint on life hidden under the sci fi.

"The past taunts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us and our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost in the vast terrible in between. But there is still time to seize that one last fragile moment."